Dry Iced Coffee
by Moro-moro
Summary: Does Shuichi really have a sensitive tongue, or is he afraid that hot coffee will thaw his heart? Or is that a job solely for Ryuichi Sakuma and loveable Kumagoro? Will a tour with Nittle Grasper be the answer Shuichi has been waiting for? RyuichixShu
1. Chapter 1: Cold Coffee

_**A/N: This came to me while I was drinking an iced coffee made from a powdered mix. I thought it was a great title for a Gravitation story, and lo! More Ryuichi and Shuichi to be read and written. Of course I had planned it as a one-shot reflection story… but… ideas came soaring in while I was writing another story. It got a bit out of hand... I'm still working on "Strawberries and Broomsticks" so, updating will be slow for a bit on this story; I just want to know what people think of this story. **_**_This story is a bit darker in nature, and I may eventually change the rating for this story. _**

* * *

**Chapter One: Iced Coffee (Prologue) **

_(This chapter happens two years in the future.)_

Shuichi sighed, stirring his drink idly.

"Y'know, that's rather stingy, Shindou-kun," Suguru mumbled, looking up from his drink.

"Hmn?" Shuichi looked up past his bangs. "What is?"

"That. You could have just bought an iced coffee if you wanted to. It's only a dollar more than buying milk and ice separately, then adding your own mix."

Shuichi shrugged, and Hiro elbowed Suguru hard in the stomach, causing the pianist to spray his drink across the table as he gagged.

Shuichi took no notice, he was busy staring off into the reflection pool a few yards away. His eyes glazed over and he sighed yet again, unconsciously drinking his iced coffee.

It was true, Shuichi registered a few moments later, that he was being a bit stingy, but this was the only thing he found he could enjoy drinking. It was his edible crack. (His non-edible one was singing, of course.) Dry iced coffee. One of those nifty one serving packets that contained an instant iced coffee, hazelnut flavored. It was one of those things he just couldn't stop drinking.

It had started as a habit to remember Eiri. It then turned into an addiction. Just that kind. No else. He found that others made him choke, even the Starbucks brand… they were too much _like_ coffee. That was _more_ than enough remembrance. Hot coffee was _too_ hot, and made him throw up. A coffee that doesn't taste like coffee, but has that bitter, cold after-bite… it was perfect.

He frowned, and turned his eyes to the stage a little ways to the right of the reflection pool, its glassy calmness broken by an over zealous Nittle Grasper fan who had fallen into it.

His eyes fixed on Ryuichi Sakuma, the handsome, 33 year-old, genius vocalist for the all time favorite band, Nittle Grasper. His eyes took on a hungry glaze, staring at the man who was belting his heart out on stage.

Shuichi loved him; that much he was sure of. Now two years older, and much, much wiser, he knew. The familiar tug at his stomach, the flutter of his heart, the inability to string together coherent sentences… he was convinced.

But he was also scared. Ryuichi was a best friend, a confidant… Yes, they liked to watch movies together and cuddle, then have pillow fights… but that was friend stuff… They were no more than that. Ryuichi considered Shuichi the top among his friends. They knew almost everything about eachother...

Almost. Ryu didn't know about Shuichi's infatuation with him.

Shuichi sighed, sweeping his hand through his black stripped hair. His eyes swept across the elder singer's body, unable to keep himself from doing so.

It should be illegal, he decided, to allow someone who is so gorgeous, and unknowingly so, to wear tight leather pants. ... Then dance in them...

"…ichi Shindou! Earth to Shuichi Shindou!"

Shuichi blinked, tearing his eyes from Ryuichi, then fixed them on Hiro. "Yes?" he asked with a sheepish smile.

Hiro leaned across the table and patted Shuichi on the head. "You ought to tell him instead of staring and sighing like a lovesick girl. You're a man, Shuichi, show some balls," he advised. "The worst that can happen is he'll say no and 'Kumagoro beam' you."

Shuichi chuckled. "I'll take that to heart," he said coolly, downing the rest of his coffee-like drink with a smile.

* * *

After the concert, Shuichi walked into the doorway of Ryuichi's changing room. 

The man was lazing on the small provided sofa, waiting for something.

"Ryuichi?" called the smaller vocalist.

Ryu opened one indigo eye, then smiled warmly at Shuichi. "Come in, come in," he said, sitting up.

Shuichi was acutely aware that Ryuichi had no shirt on, his should-be-illegal leather pants, and his hair was still damp from sweat. … in other words, he was too sexy for words at this moment.

"I caught you staring at me during the concert Shuichi," Ryuichi laughed as Shuichi came and sat next to him.

Shuichi smiled and looked at his hands, which were draped across his lap.

"Ryuichi, I… I'm really grateful to you; you've helped me through a lot of rough patches, and most of my depression… And I want to know, what am I to you?"

Ryuichi looked at Shuichi for a moment. "Ah… I know what you're getting at. I remembered that look you gave me. You gave the same one to Eiri Yuki-san a long time ago… Shuichi, you are…"

Shuichi swallowed… Here it comes.

"Everything to me… a precious person, a wonderful musician… You're so very cute and delicate. Someone whose heart I never want to shatter," he hummed, reaching forward to stroke some of Shuichi's hair behind the boy's ear. "I've loved you for a long while."

Shuichi gave a small shiver, tilting his head into the older man's touch. "I love you too…"

Ryuichi pushed the smaller vocalist down onto the sofa, swooping over him in a deep, loving kiss.

* * *

**_(PS: If you're a fan on Yuki and Shuichi being happy, you really shouldn't read this story. I'll give you a this as a warning: Shuichi's being abused in the present. You no like, no read. )_**


	2. Chapter 2: Frost

**_A/N: This is chapter 2! Yay! It's in the present. :nod: I'll try to put a small poem in the beginning of the chapters that move normally. _**

* * *

**Chapter Two: Frost**

**(This chapter is in the present. Time will move normally.)**

_The signs of winter given away_

_Late in the fall at the beginning of the day_

_As cold frost coats leaves_

_That were thrown cruelly from their trees._

"Get out of my space, fag," Yuki hissed, shoving Shuichi unceremoniously out of his office.

Shuichi sighed and frowned. He was used to it by now. The man had deadlines… But…

This sort of behavior from Yuki was becoming more and more frequent… unfortunately for Shuichi Shindou, because he was the one who would be hit, cussed at, or even, thrown from the room he shared with his novelist lover, Eiri Yuki.

It had been going on for far too long to be a stage, and even Tohma had noticed Yuki's sullen behavior… This was bad.

Shuichi trudged down the hall, and turned on the television to the music channel where a video by his friend's, Ryuichi Sakuma, band was playing. It was their newest song, called "Meddle". It was really good…

Shuichi resisted the urge to hum along. He didn't want another excuse for Eiri to come beat the snot out of him. It was becoming awkward at work, explaining the bruises. Of course, most believed him, having seen the infamous Shuichi Shindou trip over nothing but air molecules.

Only Tohma, Hiro, and strangely enough, Ryuichi had become suspicious; questioning him every time a new one showed. Suguru, K, and Sakano still remained blissfully ignorant, laughing along with Shuichi as he admitted to tripping over a shoelace, bumping into a door, or flat out face planting on cement.

Shuichi's stomach grumbled. He sighed, turning off the television, finding it an hour later from when he sat down, and his face wet. He sighed, wiped his face, and toddled down the hall to get ready to go buy some dinner. Yuki didn't cook for him anymore, either.

_Crying really does make you hungry_, he thought, pulling on a jacket, sunglasses, and a hat. He stepped into to the cool autumn air, breathing in the freshness. He closed the door behind him, peering into his wallet.

"Enough for dinner and a tip, maybe a taxi…" he murmured, pushing up his shades.

He strolled down the sidewalk, humming to himself. The tune to Nittle Grasper's new song really was infectious, and he soon found himself singing.

It made him feel better.

"Look! It's a Shu-chan, Kumagoro!"

Shuichi turned to see his idol, Ryuichi Sakuma, rushing towards him.

"Where's yah going?" Ryuichi asked, bouncing up to the pink-headed singer.

"Dinner."

"How cool!" Ryu bubbled. "That's where me an' Kumagoro are going to! I know!" the man brightened, the proverbial light bulb going off over his head. "We should eat together!"

Before Shuichi could protest, Ryuichi grabbed the boy, and dragged him down the sidewalk.

"Where are we going, Sakuma-san?!" Shuichi cried, rushing to keep up with the brunette.

"To Kumagoro's favorite restaurant!"

* * *

Shuichi sat across from Ryu, who was scribbling on the children's menu he asked for. 

Shifting uncomfortably, the boy looked around the place.

It was a well-kept pizzeria. The smell of pizza crust and cheese wafted deliciously across the air. It made Shuichi sick to his stomach.

"Why did you take me here?"

"So we could eat together!" Ryuichi chimed. "And besides, we're friends, right, Shu-chan?"

Shuichi sighed. "Of course we are Sakuma-san." He really didn't want to deal with the older man's incessant and childish rantings. He was in one of those moods where all you want to do is stay alone and have a pity party.

Ryuichi grinned happily. "Me an' Kumagoro wanted to talk to you, too! See, Shu-chan's being very distant at work right now. His singing is suffering."

Shuichi sighed. He knew. It was one of those things that he couldn't concentrate on. "I've not been able to concentrate well, is all. It will be fine, Sakuma-san."

With a sigh, the brunette leaned across the table, serious. Waving away Shuichi's assurances, he dug immediately into the problem; "Shuichi, it's not one of those things that are 'fine'. You're becoming depressed."

"I'm not!" Shuichi snapped. "I'm just having a rough spot with Yuki. It'll blow over."

Ryu leaned back in his seat. "You said that six months ago, when we all first noticed."

Shuichi scowled. He strained his ears for a moment, and caught brief strains of music coming out of old speakers; he recognized it as Nittle Grasper's new song. Well, there's why Ryuichi was suddenly not all sunshine and pink bunnies. He almost preferred the bubblegum cuteness to the severity.

"I'll be fine! We love each other, and…" Shuichi was abruptly cut off by the arrival of their food. He picked up a slice of the cheese pizza and took a bite, looking for an excuse to not talk. As much as the smell made him sick, he ate hungrily.

Ryuichi ate as well, carefully watching Shuichi.

Once he was sure Shuichi was done cramming his mouth full, he addressed the matter again. "You're becoming frosty, Shuichi. You've pushed away all who care for you."

Shuichi scowled, then stood. "Thank you for your opinion and dinner, Sakuma-san. But I'm perfectly fine," he muttered, leaving.

Ryuichi sighed. "We tried, Kumagoro-chan. We tried…"

* * *

Yuki locked him out again. Shuichi sighed. It was midnight, and he had nowhere to go. Certainly not to Hiro's. He loved the man, but he really didn't want anyone prying into his life anymore. 

Shuichi pushed off the ground, closing his eyes as he felt himself fly through the frosty air. Winter was coming he knew…

'_I ought to get an apartment…' _Shuichi mused as he swung back and forth, his boots crunching against the frost forming quickly on the ground.

'_Yuki's like this frost… sudden, but harsh. It strangles the ground, the grass… it kills them. He's going to kill me one day.'_


	3. Chapter 3: Freezing Point

**_A/N: I'm sorry for the wait, guys. This chapter was very hard to write because I got caught up in some other stories, and I went away from my house for a few nights, and... :sigh: I found the plot overview I had written, and the story had deviated so badly I had to re-write the entire chapter. This chapter... Le sigh... Whaaa..._**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Freezing Point**

_Cold claims everything_

_With it's cool grasping fingers_

_Everything dies now. _

Shuichi stood defiantly, biting his lip. "No, I will not," he said evenly, even though the pain flowed heavily from the gash in his head that had come from being pushed into a shelf. "This is as much my house as it is yours, Eiri Yuki. I have lived here with you for three years; I may do as I please. I may make as much noise as I want; I can cook whatever food I desire. I have the right to the shower. Yuki, you have become a drunken fool, and I don-" The next thing he knew, he was on the floor, gagging. Pain was radiating through his body, the white-hot center located in his stomach, where Eiri Yuki's boot had landed.

"Ah…" The pink-haired man looked down at the floor, barely registering that the novelist was screaming at him to get out. He began to cough as ragged sobs escaped his mouth. He didn't want this! All he wanted was a happy life with the man he loved.

"I want you out!" Yuki bellowed, briefly stepping on Shuichi's hand.

Shuichi stood, blood trickling out of his mouth, and he staggered out through the door. He pulled on a coat and a hat, then left, leaving the door open and allowing for Yuki's curses to follow him.

_Get away, I have to get away… _

Shuichi looked around frantically, then began to run in a random direction, and he kept running until he reached the park where he and Yuki first met.

Collapsing down into the early February snow, Shuichi dissolved into violent tears.

Blood splattered down onto the white ground, melting the first layer of snow. With ever hiccupping sob, more blood poured out of the wound in his head.

"I'm… dizzy…" Shuichi mumbled, and he fell forward, his breath growing shallow. "I'm dying!" He whimpered, his vision growing dark. "Yuki… help…"

* * *

Ryuichi perched Kumagoro on top of his head, humming to himself. "La, la, laa, nana-na daa-laa," he sang happily, watching his breath fog out in front of him. "The snow is pretty tonight, Kuma-chan! I hope it snows on Valentine's Day!" the man paused for a reply. "Yeps! We're gonna give chocolate to all our friends! Tohma, Noriko-chan, and…." 

Ryu paused, frowning as he saw a figure laying face-down in the snow. "People shouldn't be sleeping out in the cold," he said, striding forward. To his horror, he saw a bright red stain against the stark white snow. "Oh my god! Mister!" he shrieked, turning the man over.

His horror increased as he saw the face of his friend, Shuichi Shindou. "Shuichi! Shuichi! Shuichi wake up!" Ryu laid Shuichi down, taking off his scarf. He rolled up the fabric and slid it under the unconscious boy's head.

He hastily pulled out his cell phone and called the first person who came to mind: Tohma.

"Hello, this is Tohma Seguchi speaking, who—"

"Shuichi's hurt! Shuichi's hurt bad! He's gonna die, Tohma! He's going to die!" The singer sobbed into the phone. "He's bleeding all over the place!"

"Ryu, Ryu! Calm down! Where are you?!" Tohma demanded.

"I'm in the park."

"Can you carry him to your apartment?"

"Uh-huh," Ryuichi whimpered softly.

"Carry him there. I'll meet you there with a doctor, okay?"

Ryu hung up and stuffed Kumagoro into his back pocket. "Sorry Kuma-chan…" He gently picked up Shuichi and made his way home.

* * *

_Cold… I'm cold… I hurt… _

"Mmnhg…" Shuichi moaned as light flooded into his eyes. He looked around. "What?" he rasped.

Ryuichi scrambled forward, holding a glass of water.

Shuichi frowned. He didn't know where he was. Dazedly, he took the glass and sipped, the cold water sliding through his parched lips.

"Shindou-san, what were you doing unconscious in the park tonight?" Tohma asked. He was leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest, a frown pasted firmly on his mouth.

"I fell…" Shuichi lied. He wanted to be able to patch things over with Yuki. He had to; he loved him. Eiri Yuki was his entire life; aside from singing.

"Where did you sustain that injury, Shindou-san?" Tohma said sharply.

"Must've gotten it when I fell…" Shuichi mumbled, looking down at his lap.

"The doctor who patched you up removed some wooden splinters, and said that a few fingers were broken. I don't advise lying to me, Shindou."

"Tohma stop it!" Ryuichi yelled, standing up from the floor. "If Shu-chan doesn't want to talk about it, then he doesn't have to!"

Tohma scowled. "Ryu, leave the room, I need to talk to Shindou in private," he said tersely.

Ryu hung his head and left.

Shuichi scrambled up. "I'm so sorry! I don't mean to cause trouble!" he cried, wincing as he tried to bow. There was probably a bruise on his stomach.

"Save it. Eiri-san did this, no?" Tohma asked, pulling a chair out in front of Shuichi. Sitting down, he eyed the young vocalist.

"… yes… we had another fight."

"I wouldn't call it a fight if he sustains no injuries at all," the blonde man said blandly. "I want Eiri-san to be happy, and he's not with you."

Shuichi scowled. "He will be! He'll get over this funk and we'll be in love again! Don't you dare try this shit again!"

Tohma sighed. He was silent for a moment. "I am at a personal deadlock with myself on this matter, Shindou-san," he said softly, lacing his fingers and staring at his knuckles. "I hate to see an employee be abused like this—I do care, as little as it may seem— but I'm at loathe to break the promise I gave Eiri-san. But I do want to see him happy," sighing again, Tohma placed his elbows on his knees and flattened his fingers out, laying his chin onto them. He peered at the bruised and dejected boy in front of him. "Maybe it's not as hard of a decision as I think. He cannot accuse me of telling his secret if you find it yourself."

Shuichi frowned. "Seguchi-san, what are you talking about?" Now Shuichi was scared, he had only seen Tohma this serious so many times, and every time, it meant something bad. He had even dropped that god-awful phony smile.

"Shindou, Eiri-san is cheating on you."

* * *

Shuichi entered the bar a few weeks after Tohma dealt him the mind-blowing news. At first he didn't believe the man, but then slowly, he began to wonder. The blonde had told Shuichi where he could find Yuki cheating. 

Shuichi scanned the room, his entourage of no other than Ryuichi Sakuma standing close behind him. They both looked rather odd, with hats, sunglasses, scarves, and long trench coats—all of which they refused to shed at the door. No one paid them a look, though; they just figured they were either crazy low-rank gang members, or high-rank celebrities.

Ask no questions, and you receive no lies.

"Shuichi, that way," Ryuichi whispered into Shuichi's ear, pointing to the far side of the room where no other than Eiri Yuki sat. A woman walked by him and sat down, but other than that, they seemed not to know each other.

"He's alone!" Shuichi hissed. "This proves nothing but he's a drunk!" the boy said triumphantly, closing his eyes and crossing his arms.

"Um… then why is he making out with that girl with the big boobs? The one that sat next to him?" Ryuichi asked quietly.

Shuichi's eyes snapped open and he looked over to find his so-called lover locked into a passionate kiss with a woman he had never seen before.

He bit his lip. "That cheating little bastard!" he whimpered before bursting into wails.

It was then that Shuichi Shindou's heart froze over.


	4. Chapter 4: Boiling Point

**_A/N: You know, I think this is the only story where I have an angst-driven Shuichi who DOESN'T bitch-slap somebody! Wow… See, I almost always forget what I put into my stories, so when I go back to re-read them, I'm like… Oo I forgot I made him do that… OOPS! _**

**_And, um, this chapter... Well... :shrugs: It's here. It got wrote between religion charts and Algebra2 homework..._**

**_The song is "Let that Be Enough" by Switchfoot. Lyrics have been re-arranged for literary purposes. _**

* * *

**Chapter four: Boiling Point**

_Blistering heat_

_Disturbs my heart_

_It scars the surface;_

_Your rage hit its mark_

_And changes me _

_Like water into haze_

_I'll never be the same_

_Metamorphosing my days. _

Shuichi lay on the futon in Ryuichi's guest room, staring at the ceiling blankly. He couldn't move… he didn't _want_ to move. Because moving required actions, actions required thinking, and thinking…Thinking made him remember.

But he remembered even if he didn't think. It was a hard thing to forget, seeing the person he was most in love with cheating. _Blatantly_!

Shuichi rolled over and beat the pillows with his fists, screaming into the soft cotton. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Ryuichi frowned from the doorway. "Um… Shu-chan… Tohma called… he says you have to go to work today," he said softly. "I'm coming with you; I have to go in today anyway."

Shuichi looked up and glared at Ryuichi. "I don't want to. Go away," he snarled hoarsely.

Ryu raised Kumagoro in front of his face as if the small pink plushie would shield him from Shuichi. "But Tohma says you have to, or he'd come get you himself. He… he says it's been three months already, and he can't cover for Bad Luck anymore!" Ryuichi mumbled tentatively.

Shuichi flumped back down onto the bed. "I won't go."

"Don't you like to sing anymore?" Ryu asked, aghast.

"NO! I don't! I don't like anything right now, so go away," Shuichi mumbled darkly.

Ryuichi hung his head. "You're not Shu-chan anymore. You go away," he whispered childishly, hugging onto Kumagoro. He trudged out of Shuichi's room, pouting heavily.

Shuichi wasn't the same. Ryuichi understood him being depressed, but Shuichi had become less and less of himself. He stopped going to work; singing, and eventually he refused to eat. He even stopped being nice!

Ryu's lip trembled. It wasn't fair. He cared about Shuichi more than anything. He opened the front door, stepping into the warm, early summer/late spring weather. It was beautiful outside, and Ryuichi had hoped… that the warm weather would have warmed Shuichi up and melted the frost that had grown over his heart.

Apparently not. Ryuichi walked down the steps onto the sidewalk. A car pulled up and Shuichi's blonde manager poked his head up.

Ryuichi shook his head. "No Shuichi," he mumbled, opening the back door. "He yelled at me this morning."

K frowned. "That's not like him."

"He's still upset. …I'm really glad that you decided to respect that," Ryuichi mumbled, pushing Kumagoro against K's ear. "Otherwise Shuichi'd yell at you too, K… he says he doesn't like singing anymore. It's sad…"

* * *

Shuichi opened his eyes again, glancing at the clock. It was noon. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and let his feet touch the cool, wooden floor. 

Sighing, he shakily stood, making his way into the guest restroom. He felt bad for snapping at Ryuichi. But… he couldn't help it… he was just so miserable, and Ryu was just so… _not_.

Shuichi turned on the shower. Letting the water warm itself, he began to remove his sticky clothes. How long had it been since he got out of bed? Shuichi regarded himself in the mirror. Dark lidded eyes, pale cheeks, and chapped lips stared back at him.

The boy shuddered, immediately more disgusted with himself than he had been before. He stepped into the jets of water, waiting for the soothing effects to kick in. The opened his mouth, the lukewarm streams cleaning his mouth from its cobwebs and weeks of crying. He reached out and squeezed copious amounts of toothpaste onto the brush, and got to work on scrubbing his teeth.

He stopped minutes later, upon realizing that his toothbrush was turning crimson. He spat onto the floor and began to clean his body.

As he rubbed shampoo into his vividly pink hair, Shuichi opened his mouth and did something he hadn't done in months. He began to sing; he made up the song on the spot.

"_Wish I had what I needed _

_To be on my own_

'_Cause I feel so defeated_

_And I'm feeling alone_

_And it all seems so helpless_

_And I have no plan…_

_I'm a plane in the sunset with nowhere to land. _

_And all my sandcastles _

_Spend their time collapsing_

_And all I see, _

_It could never make me happy._

_Let me know that you're near me_

_Let me know your touch_

_Let me know that you love me_

_And let that be enough._

_Who am I but a kid _

_Who knows he's needy?" _

Tears leaked from Shuichi's eyes, mixing on his cheeks with soap and shower, becoming inconspicuous as they flowed to his feet. All he wanted was for Yuki to fall in love with him. Was it too much to ask? Apparently so. He'd lost everything… but…

If Yuki thought he had won, he was going to be sorely wrong.

Shuichi sighed, rinsing his hair and body of soap. He stood under the pulsing streams of water, letting them beat him into a calm, rational state.

"I'm going to give you hell, Eiri," he decided, a sudden white-hot determination growing inside of him. "You _don't_ screw around with Shuichi Shindou."

He had a goal again. He was going to show that bastard that he could be happy without him.

* * *

Shuichi walked into NG later that day, smiling at all the people telling him that they missed him. 

First, he stopped by the Bad Luck room to say hello to everyone. He handed Sakano the lyrics to the song he made up in the shower. Upon hearing that it was acceptable, he left.

Second stop: Tohma Seguchi's office. Hopefully Tohma would be alone, and he could talk his boss into relaying the message …He wasn't lucky.

Yuki and Tohma seemed to be deep in conversation. Upon seeing Shuichi entering the room, Tohma smiled and Yuki sneered.

"Well, Shindou, it's a pleasure to see you back at NG!" Tohma said. Yuki scoffed.

Shuichi looked coolly at his ex-lover. "And you laugh, why, Yuki-san?" he asked politely, turning on the Tohma-like charm.

"Are you here to turn in your resignation, brat?" Yuki asked.

It was Shuichi's turn to scoff. "Of course! … _Not_. Like I'd let you ruin the thing I love most. I came to ask you a question, Yuki-san." Okay, so he was lying like a rug, but the singer had somehow pulled the courage to face this man out of thin air; he wasn't about to waste it.

Yuki raised an eyebrow. Shuichi was acting rather odd; where'd he grow a backbone?

"Whatchagonnadonowthayou'velost?" Shuichi asked, spitting out the question in one breath. He was a little nervous, but the annoyed look on Yuki's face gave him courage to go on.

"Excuse me?"

"What're you going to do now that you've lost? You had me, and you didn't want to do a thing with it. So? What are _you_ going to do with _your_ life," Shuichi challenged.

"Why would anyone want to do anything with you?"

"All of Japan wants me, Eiri Yuki," Shuichi purred. "I'm going to make something of my life. Burn in _hell_," he spat, and then sashayed out of Tohma's office.

Stop number three: Nittle Grasper's office.

Shuichi poked his head through the door to find Ryuichi on a sofa moping. Noriko was nowhere to be found. "Hey," Shuichi said, stepping into the room.

Ryu frowned. "Shuichi?" he asked, sitting up. "Why're you here?"

Shuichi went and sat next to his idol. "You told me to get out. I got out of bed, got out of the shower, got out of the house," he said with a mischievous grin.

Ryuichi's eyes brightened and he grinned, pushing Kumagoro into Shuichi's face. "Don't back-sass me Shu-chan! Why did you come to work?"

"I came because a) I wrote a song in the shower—" "That's where I write my songs too!" " And, more importantly, b) to tell Eiri Yuki to go to hell."

Ryuichi stared seriously at Shuichi. "Did you do it?"

A visible tremor went through Shuichi's body. The boy bit his lip, nodding. "It… it was hard," he mumbled, tears welling in the hurt amethyst eyes. "I can't believe I did it!" He shook his head, letting it drop into shaking palms.

Ryuichi reached out and pulled Shuichi close, letting the boy cry.

Both singers had the feeling that these would not be the last tears shed over the novel; the road was not over. It was a long, broken path, which would take many, many switchbacks. But it would happen. Eventually, Shuichi would heal.

"I'll be here for you, Shuichi," Ryuichi murmured, kissing Shuichi's forehead tenderly. "I'll _always_ be here."


	5. Chapter 5: Thaw

**_A/N: Not too much to say on this chapter, except that it's one of the last chapters. This story, I like it, but it's gone by too fast, and taken too long to write... One day, I think, I'll re-write it with better time lapses... Mmmn...maybe... _**

* * *

**Chapter five: Thaw**

**(This chapter takes place one month before the prologue.) **

_A bright sun comes today_

_And melts away the ice_

_That was thought to stay_

_Making everything warm. _

Shuichi carefully tipped the milk, pouring it slowly.

"Shu-chan! You can just pour it in fast!" Ryu scolded, kicking his legs as he sat on the counter, regarding his friend.

"No, no!" Shuichi cried. "If you pour it fast, then it creates little air bubbles and it doesn't mix right!"

Ryuichi sighed, rolling his eyes teasingly. "If you say so, Shu-chan," he sang happily. "But why are you doing this anyway?" Shuichi shrugged, sipping on the coffee-flavored drink with careful consideration.

"Ew," Shuichi said after a moment. "Too strong." He handed the glass to Ryuichi, and grabbed a new one. "They stopped making the old brand. The company went bankrupt."

They were going through a trial-and-error process, and Ryu had gotten the good end of the deal.

Ryuichi happily drank the iced coffee drink. He liked this sort of thing, and he wasn't too particular about the flavor. Shuichi was. Ryuichi watched Shuichi carefully, munching on a cookie. "Oh. Try the next one," he ordered cutely. "But I meant why do you drink this stuff?" Ryuichi was polite and didn't push when Shuichi shrugged.

Shuichi scanned over the directions, then poured exactly eight ounces of milk into the bottom of a cup containing the dry mix. He stirred it, a light golden-brown foam forming. Shuichi took a sip.

Ryuichi couldn't help but grin as he watched Shuichi's violet eyes brighten. "Did you find the one Shu-chan?"

Shuichi nodded happily. "Thank you for helping!"

Ryuichi smiled, he would do anything to make Shuichi smile so happily. "I'm sorry they discontinued the drink you used to use."

Shuichi shrugged. "This kind tastes almost the same," he said, licking away a coffee-drink moustache.

Ryuichi swirled a cookie around in his own iced drink. "Why do you drink this stuff anyway? I mean, it's the only flavored drink you eat," he said, pushing the subject once again.

"You don't _eat_ a drink," Shuichi shot back at his second best friend/crush. Ryuichi waved a hand for Shuichi to continue despite his error. Shuichi sighed. "It's a comfort thing…" he admitted.

Ryuichi sighed. He reached out and petted Shuichi's striped hair. The boy had recently gotten black stripes in his shockingly pink hair for dramatic effect. Ryuichi thought it looked incredibly cute. "Alright. Wanna cookie?" he asked, changing the subject.

Shuichi smiled softly, taking the Oreo from Ryuichi's hand, blushing softly as his fingers brushed against his friend's palm.

"I can't wait for the tour we're starting soon!" Ryuichi sang, swaying back and forth on the counter. "I was so happy when Tohma said that we're doing a concert together!"

Shuichi grinned. "I know! I'm so excited!"

Ryu smiled, watching happily as Shuichi bubbled on and on about the new tour. It was so fun seeing a smile on the boy's face.

"Tohma wants us to do new songs."

Shuichi sighed, nodding absently. "I can't decide if I want to write lyrics or not."

"The stuff you sing in the shower is good. You make those up," Ryuichi piped, tweaking Shuichi fondly on the nose.

With a shrug and a sigh, Shuichi fell into melancholy once more, memories of songs that were verbally sliced with the machete of cruelness. "They're junk," he whispered self-consciously. He sipped on his coffee, memories of Yuki swirling about his skull.

He was deathly afraid to try; to try his hand at writing again, to try to tell Ryuichi how he felt. Ryu was a best friend figure after two years, and… it wasn't practical at all. He'd rather stay one-sided than fight out a loosing battle that lead to complications and sorrow.

Ryuichi's face fell. He wanted so bad to make Shuichi smile and it wasn't working. He felt stupid for bringing up something that he knew would hurt. "Shuichi, are you okay?"

Shuichi nodded softly.

_He's lying… _The idol knew this fact, but he nodded, going on as if nothing had happened, his antics getting stupider and stupider, finally ending in him leaving the room with a defeated sigh.

Shuichi stared complacently out the window.

"He'd ask again if he cared," he whispered bitterly, "If he cared, he wouldn't ignore me."

In the other room, jealousy built inside of the brunette vocalist. "Even after two years, that man still controls his thoughts! It's just not fair!"

And all the while, their hearts reached to one another, grasping only air out of fear.


	6. Chapter 6: Hot Coffee

_**A/N: Ah, the last chapter! YES! Gawd, I loved this story, but it was a challenge to write, and even me myself can't understand the cryptic ending… does this smell like a sequel?! Hell no. **_

_**The songs in this chapter are my own. The one Ryu sings is called "Cold Forever" and the one Shu sings is "Colored Glass". Their duet is called "Broken Mask". I'm uber super sorry it took so long, so, how can I make it up? I'll take… two requests for stories to do so! So review and request please. If I choose your idea, I'll email you, kayz? **_

_**PS: With "Broken Mask, This: (Ryuichi), normal type: Shuichi, and the slash in the chorus is them overlapping.

* * *

**_

**Chapter Six: Hot Coffee, Epilogue **

Shuichi was in sheer bliss. For the first time in three years he was happy.

He felt like he was floating so high, if anyone looked at him, they'd see a lone star shining brightly in the night…

Shuichi sighed happily as he stared at himself in the mirror. He didn't look like the haunted man he did a few hours before. His hair seemed a little pinker, his black lo-lights seemed perfect, and his smile was as big as anything. And he couldn't get said smile off of his lips.

He attacked his hair with a brush, humming happily. He pulled on his pants, strolling into the hotel room of his newly… _deepened_ friend, Ryuichi Sakuma.

Ryu was tinkering around on a small synth, playing a simple tune. He was singing too, his voice weaving the melody of the song.

_"Never mind me_

_I'm just waiting here_

_Hoping you know,_

_Hoping you see,_

_That there's more to be._

_He's not the one,_

_She's not the girl,_

_I can't quite say_

_But this is not your day._

_Crying aloud_

_Dead with tears_

_Face out the night,_

_And just wait for the light!_

_There will be days_

_When you want to die_

_Take in stride_

_Wear pain with pride._

_For I will be here_

_I will be there_

_Forever and cold,_

_I'll wait for love to unfold…"_

Shuichi walked over and laid his head on Ryuichi's shoulder. "It's a pretty song."

Ryuichi swung around, pulling Shuichi into his lap. "I wrote it for you."

Shuichi giggled. "Lemme try!"

Ryu laughed. "Have at it."

Shuichi laid his fingers onto the keys, thoughtfully closing his eyes. His fingers moved slowly and clumsily at first, trying to remember the feel of the synth. Before long, he moved into a slow, fluid melody.

_"The shattered glass that falls around me_

_Leaving so that I can see_

_That you aren't so perfect now_

_You aren't so perfect now!_

_There, those glass notes lay_

_Reminding me, reminding me of that cold day_

_Reminding me, reminding me so that I can see:_

_That there's…_

_Sheet music on the floor,_

_Like I just don't live here anymore_

_From that screaming, crying child I was_

_Crawling out, outgrown now because_

_This colored glass has been removed,_

_Finding out how everything's moved_

_Everything's changed—It's all so… REARRANGED!_

_That number sits upon my chair_

_Just seeing it, I pull my hair,_

_Showing me that I can do better!_

_I can do so much better!_

_The melodies that rise and fall_

_Reminds me that I'm not your doll!_

_And reminds me that I'm alive…"_

Shuichi giggled, his fingers falling on a sour note. "That sucked," he mumbled, blushing heavily.

Ryuichi gave a soft frown, reaching up to ruffle the younger vocalist's stripped hair. "It was really good," he mumbled softly. "I like your lyrics. They're raw and they're truthful. Now your melody…" The older idol smirked and shook his head, obviously teasing the smaller man.

Shuichi pouted. "We should write something together then!" He exclaimed, bouncing happily off of Ryu's lap.

* * *

One day, a certain novelist was flipping through radio stations in his car, when a certain voice began to fill the speakers.

_Voices_, to be precise. The duet was haunting, and it was almost impossible to tell when once voice ended and the other began, but Yuki… no Eiri Yuki could pick out Shuichi's voice exactly.

"_Do or die_

_(There's no more tomorrow…) _

_If I stay again_

_(It'll bring more sorrow…) _

_This is something I can't hide_

_(You know what I mean) _

_And the mask starts to break_

_(He's not getting redeemed)_

_And all the lies_

_I will ever be_

_Crumble gone_

_And break on free—_

_(Your mask falls off_

_And breaks in two) _

_In all yourself/myself _

_Revealing now_

_To the one _

_Who cut your/my heart?_

_And you/I screamed it out! _

_(Come on out) _

_I never could relate_

_(I love you now) _

_This was just our fate_

_(It doesn't matter anymore) _

_I'll shout to the lies_

_(I'll watch you fall to the floor) _

_And all the lies_

_I will ever be_

_Crumble gone_

_And break on free—_

_(Your mask falls off_

_And breaks in two) _

_In all yourself/myself _

_Revealing now_

_To the one _

_Who cut your/my heart?_

_And you/I screamed it out!_

_You don't get it_

_(I get it fine) _

_He didn't do it_

_(You'll be all mine) _

_I couldn't take it_

_(Just breathe now) _

_I had to fake it…"_

At this point, the blonde cut the volume, imagining the smug look on Shuichi's face if the singer ever found out that he was regretful…

Even if it wasn't by much.

Yuki knew when to give up.

_**END **_


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